ROY EDROSO

Any stroll through warblogs will expose the reader to random acts of character assassination. Since nyah-nyahs are delivered to Osama & Co. every day by everyone from late-night comics down to novelty item marketers, the more advanced bloggers amuse the troops by denigrating America's real enemies: liberals.

The novelty item marketers are on this case as well, but their crudity will not do for A-list opinionators, who prefer to use a little psychology (or psychopathology) on 'em.

Andrew Sullivan quotes approvingly this response to one of his habitual knocks on erstwhile employer, New York Times editor Howell Raines:

You touched briefly on one of the underlying reasons for Raines' leftist ideological posturing--a guilt ridden southerner who wishes to expunge himself of the original sin of having been born in the South.

Sullivan responds:

It seems to me important to distinguish between genuine Southern liberals, and those who seem to pursue an extremely liberal agenda precisely because they feel the need to credentialize themselves with blue America colleagues. Any further suggestions?

This is canny: if you suspect Molly Ivins, say, of psychological wholeness, you can always take comfort in the existence, somewhere well beyond public view, of twisted Southerners driven to liberalism as a means to self-esteem.

The tactic of discrediting Southern libs is not entirely new. In 1948, Progressive party presidential candidate Henry Wallace proclaimed, "...the workers and farmers and independent businessmen of the South are turning from the false leadership of those who have been styled 'Southern liberals'..." Of course, Wallace was talking about Jim Crow Democrats. But these are different times.

Note, though, that this tactic now relies on the notion that conservatism is the Southerner's natural state. There's plenty of evidence for it, but it's a curious position for Sullivan, who constantly inveighs against similar conflation of gays with liberalism. For example, he responds to liberal attacks on himself and fellow gay conservative Norah Vincent thusly:

"...Charles Kaiser...glibly says the following in the Times today: 'I certainly think that Andrew [Sullivan's] popularity, especially on the talk-show circuit has a lot to do with his own self hatred.' That's not an attack on another gay person? To accuse someone of self-hatred is the lowest and cheapest of insults. It's something no-one can rebut; and it strikes at the core of someone's integrity."

Defending that Ol' Time Political Philosophy against interlopers is only one pincer of the new Southern Strategy, however. It is also necessary to shore up the base.

Conservative culture warriors find another outlet in CBS' new plan to reincarnate The Beverly Hillbillies as a reality-based show--in which real Southerners of modest means and acculturation are to be transplanted to 90210, with hijinx ensuing. This would seem to most of us merely another indictment of the network's taste. But to others, it is a new Fort Sumter.

In the New York Press, Christopher Caldwell calls the plan "Neronian." He explicates carefully (though unconvincingly) that there is some moral distinction (besides the quality of the product) between the Clampetts as played by professional actors and their TV-dinner-theatre versions.

But the real object of his wrath is Dub Cornett, the Southern-born TV executive enabling the travesty: "Oh, thank you, Hollywood!" says Caldwell. "No wonder Cornett insists so stridently on his own Southern origins, because underneath his platitudes it would be hard to express more contempt for the culture he fled."

Along with place-traitors to Dixie such as Cornett, Caldwell notes Hollywood Southerners who dast not criticize their Bluecoat-Bluestate masters: "The Washington Post noted that the news of the new show 'did not sit well with some southerners who work in Hollywood, who did not wish to be identified for this article.' It is curious that the Post has an easier time getting on-the-record quotes from Taliban defectors than it does from corporate dissenters in Hollywood. Why don't they feel they can speak up?" (Maybe because TV executives are famously gutless, whatever their place of origin.)

At the National Review Online, Rod Dreher--a Louisianan now living in the occupied territory of Cobble Hill, Brooklyn--is even angrier at CBS. "Yes sir, southern white people--the kind who tend to own guns, believe in God, love their country and vote Republican--are Hollywood's niggers," he proclaims. "It is an outrage, but poor white folks are used to it. Nobody speaks up for them."

Why is The Real Beverly Hillbillies, as this thing is called, worse than Anna Nicole Smith or Jerry Springer? Perhaps because ANS and Springer's exhibitionist guests cannot be explicitly linked to a voting base that needs to be invigorated in time for the coming midterm elections to strike a blow against Hollywood, or Yankees, or liberals, or whomever.

The uses of enchantment are varied and wondrous. In the wake of Enron, liberals peddle the narrative of Rich vs. Poor; conservatives counter with North vs. South. These ancient enmities make for good political theater. More's the pity, then, that Jed Clampett, Monty Burns, et al., aren't actually running for office.